Little Birds birth changed me. With Young Bird, things didn't go how I had planned or wanted. They weren't how they should have been, honestly. When we found out we were expecting again, I tried my hardest to get a midwife with the hospital, however, no backing OB would take a VBAC patient. I did not want a repeat c-section because I knew it wasn't needed.
After much research, I finally had the courage to talk to Jason. I started with us watching The Business of Being Born. He didn't react how I had hoped and honestly, I knew that was quite possible. But, I explained how I felt that we needed to seek out the route of a home birth. I had done research, I had found a midwife who had been practicing for 30 years, highly respected in our city and surrounding areas. I told him, I wanted to meet with her, I explained why. How Gage's birth scared the hell out of me and I was afraid to go back to the hospital and have it happen again. I knew I was still young and that could possibly be played against me once again.
This time, I was going to take my birth into my hands. Have it in my control. He agreed to meet with the midwife, so I set up our appointment. I still agreed to make an appointment with an OB just in case. We had our meeting with the midwife and Jason asked her every question imaginable and then some. She came back with well explained answers, never left us questioning anything. She made us feel so comfortable. As we left, he looked at me and told me to cancel our other appointment, we were going with her.
Kathi was the best midwife and pregnancy caregiver a person could honestly have. I'm very sad that this pregnancy we don't have her. It's partly why we've chosen to not seek out another midwife, but there are other reasons. Anyways, she took very good care of us, made us feel like family, treated us with respect and dignity. Each appointment was an hour long.
I was due on Jason's birthday that year. However, as I did with Gage's birthday, I had a feeling and called that Dane that year would be born on Black Friday. I merely joked about it, figuring what are my chances? Gage's birth was a section, who knew if that's when he would have come, but he probably would have anyways.
November 27th, 2008 we went to my moms for Thanksgiving. I had been feeling a bit off, some contractions but nothing really said this is it. So we went, ate and I sat down in the living room to rest. When we went home Jason and I were talking a bit and discussing what he'd go get when he went out the next morning for Black Friday shopping. I remember it so well, we were sitting on the couches opposite of each other, I had the laptop and was telling him I'd like. I was eating popcorn of all things. Then I noticed, sharp pain. I took note of the time, 11pm. Another came, then another and they started getting more painful. I looked at Jason and told him this was it, I don't think he was going out.
That's when the labor started. The next early afternoon, Dane would be born at home! Helping me heal, helping me grow. His birth brought so much to me and I honestly don't think he'll ever quite understand what he helped me with. He helped me learn that I was capable of giving the birth the way I was supposed to. That my body wasn't a failure. That I can do exactly what I want. The best thing of it all while learning all that? Is I got our Dane Dane. He was the best Black Friday gift we got!
Now he's 5! He is in Kindergarten, learning his ABC's and counting. Writing, doing amazing things. He's a big brother and going to be again. He loves both of his brothers despite their fights. He looks up to Gage and is Bishop's best friend. He loves trains and cars, airplanes, the color orange, snuggling, movies and cartoons. He's very energetic and happy. He is silly and will make you laugh. If you're hurt or sad he'll do whatever he can to make you feel better. His first birthday was a rough one, but he made it through. He's proven over and over again he's a fighter.
|Setting up the tub|
|Daddy holding Dane for the first time|
|Our midwife with Dane|
|2 months old|
|His 1st birthday, he was sick and we weren't sure with what yet. He was later hospitalized.|
|A proud big brother!|
|The boys on Halloween, Gage wore that dragon outfit also!|
|He was a little sneak, still is!|
|He wanted to be Scooby :)|
Happy 5th Birthday, Dane. We love you so very much!